July 11,2006

The last four days we have been sitting with Aunt Flo. She died early this morning in the wee hours. Flo was the one in the middle of the Mulvihill sisters. She was funny and witty and she saw the humor in life's everyday events.
About ten years back we moved her and George to North Carolina to a neat little townhouse. Shortly thereafter George died. When we would visit she would surprize us with homemade vegetable soup. Those that knew Flo would understand the humor in that; she did not like the kichen, cooking or anything about it.

Around three each day we had cocktail hour. Beers were our usual. Flo was a fantasic artist designing and painting her own watercolor greeting cards. Each one was unique work of art. We have kept everyone she ever made us! She sold her cards; most of her sales went to her Red Hat group. She was a perfect Red Hat Lady; she said what she wanted, did what she wanted and was a really neat old lady.

Going out to the ponds to feed the ducks was a special event each time we visited. We brought plenty of bread along. One time the ducks and geese were across the pond and Kathy started calling them and giving her own version of geese calls and duck quacks. It became something special between us. Each time we found postcards of these birds or little stuffed ones we sent them out to Flo at the Big House. That is where she spent most of her last years, in an assited living facility in the South Hills of Pittsburgh. Her recent favorite was a green duck we sent her that had a big green bill; everyone commented on it's uniqueness. Flo sent us some cartoons of birds she cut from the paper and added lots of quack expressions to it. One time we sent her a stuffed duck with a long long roll of paper attached to it that read versions of quack.

One year Flo presented Will with a metal beater. They both had a good laugh. It seems that when Will was little he would visit his Aunt. He would go straight for the kitchen drawer and get out that metal beater; it was his gear shift! He drove many a vehicle, shifting that gearshift and making sound effects!

Another favorite memory was of a windup train. "Do it again, Floie". Flo said it was a good thing that she was young then.

Flo would save us animal crackers from her stash at he Big House. She knew we liked them. The last ones she presented us in small rectangle boxes wrapped with ribbons.

The summer of 2005 we took the Muvihill sisters to Ocean City Maryland. Flo was in a wheel chair and on oxygen then. Her favorite spot was sitting near the sliding door looking out over the sand to the ocean waves. We drank margaritas at cocktail hour and she enjoyed rides on the boardwalk.

Her last home was Sunrise Assited Living Facility. It is operated by the Mariott Hotel and resembles a resort hotel. The wrap around porch is filled with chairs and tables. The glass enclosed porch also has little sitting areas. Mitzy, the house dog, greets everyone as the enter. The formal dining area is to the left, a formal livingroom to the right. Curving stairs lead to the upstairs. The entry is large and airy. The consierge sits at her desk and answers questions, directs new comers and coordinates staff. We all wanted to move in in to the two room suite down the hall.

Flo liked her room with a huge window looking out over the hillside covered with wildflowers and weeds. She wanted her fan blowing air at her all the time. She was unable to move without assistance and talked very little; everything took energy. She ate a sip of soup, a sip of chocolate pudding,a sip of milk, and lots of sips of water with ice to keep it could. She said it was water from the Mon River oherwise. She liked the soft music with birds chirping that Will found and watching the animals on the silent TV. She never did get the right bed. She was in a bed just a few inches off the ground. We would help prop pillows behind her so she could sit upright.

As the days past she became less aware of us. She appeared to sleep. Her mouth open and her eyes just partially closed. We read magazines, puzzled, crocheted and talked. We were glad we were there because once or twice she opened her eyes and was really herself. One of those time she and Will talked of old days like when she and Aunt Ruth sat on the bed with him during the black outs in the house on Delafield in Aspinwall. There was the time she sent him a sponge cake when he was in the navy. It was a real sponge with real frosting! Kathy sat on the bed holding her hand and telling her of the birds she had seen. Flo opened her eyes and said, "You keep calling them." Then she was out again. It was those little momment that make the sitting worth it.

Flo has two daughters, Barb and Trish. Trish had been in NC. Barb was the last caregiver when Flo came to Pittsburgh. She had not planned to stay here, but had hurt her leg so badly she could never return to NC. Barb and her husband, Jack, came and went at Sunrise, taking care of paperwork, necessities and the business of moving a loved one from hospital to a care facility. Barb would stop from time to time and look at her Mom. In the end, after three days in Sunrise, the hospice nurse came. It was a consolment for Barb. By that time Flo was not aware of much. She laid taking shallow breaths hopefully dreaming of that better place beyond. She was on a different journey now.

We wonder why is it okay to give morphine but not to end the long endless suffering for those loved ones in these situations. Maybe it is for us, those left.

Kathy and Will
"Today is a good day to drive!"
--Van Go
www.visitvango.blogspot.com
visitvango@peoplepc.com

------------------------------
Sent via PocketMail
Email Anywhere
www.pocketmail.com